Practicing Loving Ourselves By SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy)
How well and often do you love yourself? Are you your own best friend? How kindly and exquisitely do you tend to your own soul? Your answers to these questions may reveal an opportunity to practice more self-love. In my book: Fabulous Friendship Festival: Loving Wildly, Learning Deeply, Living Fully with Our Friends, I write about self-friendship, and have discovered through teaching workshops about it, that about 85% of people do not identify or describe themselves as their own closest friend.
We are taught to love ourselves, from many sources, such as the bible; "Love thy neighbor as thyself" to every metaphysical teaching, yet the actual practice of it is not often or openly discussed. It's as if we're just supposed to do it "naturally" and not need support, permission, reminders or examples.
Most of us are practicing being outer focused first, tending to the needs and requests of others before ourselves. Then somehow, it seems that there isn't enough time left over for ourselves. That's because we're doing it backwards. To truly love and be friends with others, we must practice loving ourselves well and fully on a daily basis. If we don't, we all witness and experience crabby unloved people walking around, living their lives not experiencing self-love (or loving others.)
While in New York city recently, I met a hotel manager who projected absolute radiant positive energy. When I complimented him and told him how much I appreciated it, he enthusiastically said; "I know! I am just so in love with myself!" I felt that love in every cell of my body, and stuck to him like a magnet during my stay at that hotel. When I share this story with groups of people, they laugh because it just sounds so unusual and strange. Yet, when we fall in love with another person, it's perfectly acceptable and expected to exclaim about our love, and everyone cheers and applauds.
We still think that self-love is selfish and narcissistic, forgetting that conscious selfishness is necessary for loving ourselves, and that we cannot truly love others without these experiences of self-loving. We are all selfish-in the best sense of what that means- to care for ourselves first.
I've been practicing loving myself more deeply in a number of new ways, beginning and ending my days by hugging myself. It began with a moment or two, and it's now escalated to 5-10 minutes at a time. I can feel all my endorphins being elevated, and always end up grinning and beaming. I've begun saying out loud in certain situations; "I'm just so in love with myself!" and noticing the responses. Most people love it and want to join in. As I expand my experiences of self-love, I've observed that I'm more available and loving to friends and family too. It's as if my own inside well is so full of love, that I just naturally share the overflow.
I think I used to feel a little scared that if I really loved myself, I'd become so self-absorbed that there wouldn't be room for anyone else. The opposite is truly occurring and I'm steeped in self-love, friendship with myself and exquisite self-care practices that radiate out directly to the world. I keep a daily joy and gratitude journal, and fill pages with wonderful experiences and morsels of goodness. I'm always on the lookout for more, and this draws more of those kinds of experiences to me. Practicing self-friendship and love also means tending to, and being present for the times I don't feel positive or self-loving at all.
How do we practice self-love during those times too?
It's easy to love ourselves when we feel good and "things are going our way," it's less easy when we experience self-criticism, frustration, negativity or self-abandonment.
How unconditional is your love for your self?
We are all made up of light and shadows, and many of us try to flee the shadows and stay in the light. Wanting to live in the light isn't the problem, attempting to flee the shadows is. As long as we continue to turn away from the parts of ourselves that we judge as unworthy, unacceptable or unlovable, we will continue to experience separation and lack of love.
In order to more deeply and consistently practice self-love and self-friendship, it is helpful to have resources. Here are some I personally utilize and recommend:
Self-healing is available to each one of us, and we forget the power of it, and don't often include ourselves on such lists. We may be tempted to endow "someone else" with the knowledge or way to go, forgetting that we do the actual work and apply the teachings.
So, become the most marvelous friend to yourself first. Find your broken places and gain strength there too. Practice looking into your shadows (you can use a flashlight) and become aware of how to best care for yourself during those times also, and experience loving yourself unconditionally more often.
Turn your wide heart and loving eyes towards yourself and awaken what you already know:
YOU ARE SEEN
YOU ARE KNOWN
YOU ARE LOVED
By everyone, especially yourself!
Copyright © 2010 SARK
by Tuula Fai
Marci Shimoff, New York Times bestselling author of Happy for No Reason and Love for No Reason likes to begin her talks with showing a picture of herself at age two. In the photo, she has one hand on her head and a worried look on her face. Shimoff says she was born with “existential angst” and a “deep pain in her heart,” which she tried to fill with food.
At age nineteen Shimoff asked her dad, “What is the secret to life? He said, “Honey, just be happy.” Shimoff asked, “How do I do that?” He thought for a moment and then replied, “Honey, I don’t know.” Her dad didn’t know because he was a naturally happy person. So Shimoff set out to find the answer for herself.
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by Donna Gates with Lyndi Schrecengost
Born in prosperity, harbingers of change, Baby Boomers have made a significant impact on the world. But what will be our final legacy?
It’s been nearly 40 years since the Baby Boomers arrived at Max Yasgur’s 600-acre alfalfa field to attend Woodstock, an outdoor festival that was as much a counterculture “happening” as it was a celebration of music. Area residents didn’t know what to make of these “hippies” in bohemian dress who abandoned their cars and walked for miles to stand before the concert stage. Woodstock’s political provocation, defiance of convention, and back-to-nature innocence would make it one of the defining moments of an entire generation. Now, 78 million strong and approaching retirement, we Baby Boomers are showing few signs of slowing down.
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by Linda M. Potter
I was just notified through my Angry Birds software that I have now accumulated several achievement awards for such notable accomplishments as: smashing 500,000 blocks, busting 1,500 clouds, breaking open 2,000 cages, shredding 300 chocolate boxes, and snow- plowing down 1,500 ice blocks. Wow, I’ve been busy! All in the pursuit of the total annihilation of over 2,000 chubby little cartoon pigs that taunt me with their annoying squeals and rapid-blink eyes. Of course, I’m not really destroying anything — I’m simply assisting the snarly, vengeful birds out to take down the pork industry one little piggy at a time.
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Brent Hunter
“We have the opportunity to build a Rainbow Bridge into the Golden Age. But to do this, we must do it together with all the colors of the rainbow, with all the peoples, all the beings of the world. We who are alive on Earth today are the Rainbow Warriors who face the challenge of building this bridge.” - Brooke Medicine Eagle Daughter of the Rainbow, Crow and Lakota Medicine Woman
During a time of great darkness, the Earth’s waters will be dirty, the air polluted, the land ravaged and filled with warring peoples. During this time of unrest and sadness, a great new wind from the land of the Eastern Sun will blow across the land worldwide.
People of all colors will come together in the spirit of love, compassion, peace, unity, reconciliation and understanding, with respect for the sanctity of all life, the sanctity of nature and the sanctity of the Earth herself.
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by Brent Hunter
All over the world, people are tired of waiting for their government leaders to make the necessary changes that are promised year after year. While we try to remain optimistic about our future, some of us are frustrated, some are understandably angry, and we all hunger for change. Change is at the heart of the Occupy Wall Street and Tea Party Movements in the U.S. and for the Occupy Movement in many other countries.
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by Danny Long An unemployment rate as stubborn as the politicians trying to fix it. Debt as deep as The Waste Land. A global economy as fragile as a geriatric Humpty Dumpty. Say it with me: we’ve got problems. Yet…
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by Katrina Pfannkuch
So, you’re starting off 2012 with a new Smart Phone, fully equipped with must-have applications (apps) like Google Maps, iTunes and Angry Birds. Apps can brighten your day and make life a little easier. Now they can also help you respect the environment!
With technology an ever-growing part of our daily routine, sometimes we forget how it can also simplify our lives by helping us meet important personal goals. If you’ve been meaning to transition to a greener lifestyle but aren’t sure how, try downloading some apps to your mobile phone or laptop for helpful resources on easy, greener ways to manage travel, make purchase decisions and connect to important environmental causes.
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It’s a new year and time for a new list of resolutions! If you’re tired of old “promises” you know you’re not going to keep past January 31, mix things up a bit in 2012 with a few resolutions that will not only make your life cleaner and greener, but give the environment an eco-friendly boost. We asked a few green living experts to help us put together a do-able list. Check out the list and “begin anywhere” for a new year you’ll be proud to call your own.
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by Linda M Potter
In 1952, 22 year old Barbara Marx, the daughter of Marx Toys founder, Louis Marx, accepted an invitation to the White House. There she famously asked President Eisenhower, “What is the meaning of our new power that is good?” It was a question that had weighed heavy on her heart for seven years – the seven years since the bombing of Hiroshima. He didn’t have an answer. She was determined to find one.
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by Beth Buczynski
How many times a week do you take out the trash?
If you recycle your trash or compost your organic waste, you will notice a dramatic decrease in the amount of discarded trash generated by your household.
But achieving zero waste is about more than just recycling and composting.
Zero waste is an eco-conscious concept that involves viewing waste not as useless trash, but as a resource that can create jobs through collection and recycling, open up new financial opportunities for resellers, and most importantly, act as a raw material for the creation of new products.
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© 2012 BellaSpark